Journey of Becoming A Writer

"Writers put their own soul in their works, just read it carefully and you will see it." Says an unknown.

Since the beginning of my early age, or I could say it’s around elementary school, I started to enter the world of literature when I read one of those famous children books and I immediately mesmerized with its beauty, whether the idea or the writings. I never thought words could turn into something like that. I have no idea that words could give such butterflies in my stomach. So while I aware of it, I told myself:

I belong to do this. I should write something.

That’s when I began to wrote almost about everything. I wrote about myself, my problem, my happiness and et cetera. I pretty much enjoyed it even though I was the only living person who would ever read it. I remember I was writing some of horror stories in my text book as I really love any horror related. Writing was giving me such joy and satisfiction that other things couldn’t bring since I was really young.

As I get older, I have the chances to read more books from famous to legendary writer such as J.K Rowling, John Green, Charles Dickens and William Shakespeare. The more I read them, the more I realised that I don’t want to just write, I want people to read my works too. I need to be as legendary and unique. I told myself if I’m going to be a millionaire, it has to be because of my writings. It’s a must.

For several times I came with different titles and stories. I published it in one of the most acclaimed reading application with a hope that a famous publisher would notice and miraculously offer me to publish my own book. I was really happy when I receive my first reader, but that wasn’t took too long as I was incapable to find loyal readers, left alone a famous publisher.

My spirit to write reached the lowest state. It was devastating to know that people didn’t find my work interesting since I give such a huge effort. To find no one actually respect or admire it, to be a writer with no one acknowledgement. All I could see was hopelessness. I was lost, whether physically or mentally.

I stop writing. I literally stop. Ideas did come to my mind from time to time but I never took it seriously. I even felt sick when I saw those best-seller books in the shelf of book store. I have to admit those were my dark times because I had nothing to turn into. Writing had always been my way to distract my mind from sadness and anxiety, but I couldn’t do it because it was kind of hurting my pride.

That’s when I get the inspiration to pour my feelings through poems.

I did write poems in the past, but never that much. Poems is much harder than writing a short story in my opinion because I have to explain things in such metaphorical way.

I opened an account in a forum for those who's willing enough to share their poems without getting paid.

I posted something, the title was "Long Live The Enemy".

I feel something at that moment, something like self consciousness. It’s almost like I feel proud of myself for doing something for no other reason than I just want to do it. Not because I was expecting people to read or compliment it.

It reminds me of my childhood. I was really happy back then when I barely writing for anyone.

Where did that person go? I need to bring her back. The first question and declaration that came to my mind.

I posted more and more poems, even until now.

I might have no readers, no likes, no one paid me for writing stuff, but I’m proud of myself. I write for my own satisfaction. I write because I found it enjoyable and fun. I write because I just want to write something. I write because I love to.

That’s when I’m aware of one thing.

I don’t need to be famous or legendary to become a writer. The fact that I type something on my notes today, or thinking about how beautiful the skies this morning and turned it into poems, it is enough to be the proof that I’m indeed a writer, and no one or nothing can take that title from me.

So yeah, I’m a writer, and I will write forever.

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